leaving... :D

Almost going back, back to CTTB, back home in a sense. Tough and quiet, pure, strong, diligent ~ that's the place.

I will take courses in Classical Chinese (see www.drbu.org); will work on the farm; will meditate; will translate from English to Dutch; will participate in the Guan Yin session; will join the study and meditation session in Oregon; will learn, learn, learn and face myself: honesty.

Amituofo!

busy, but will be

busy busy busy
i always say i am, think i am, and i suppose i might really be that, busy, most of the time actually.

But there is light: in a few months i'll fly back to where i feel i left part of my heart*: CTTB. Where i'll be incredibly busy too; i look forward to it: busy cultivating, busy doing good stuff.

and busy with, yeah lets just speak religious language, fighting some demons - not even sure which ones to fight and which might turn out to be rather ok-things of life.

And oh i wish i was able to beat my attachment to sleep... i used to get up real early, but just can't manage to now. And it is a vicious circle of course: get out (relatively late (i.e. early, but not really early)) and then don't feel tired at all, takes long to get to sleep. lots of stuff around this too.
I should just DO IT!

sometimes clichés are best:
just do it!
try your best! (oh this one has lots of meaning for me actually)
it's ok :)
go for it!
and...
yes we can!

I wish it were a peaceful world, with lots of space and room for everyone to be wholesome and happy,
fedde

* (i guess this doesn't work in english, in dutch it does though)

swambies - a thought experiment in philosophy of mind

David Chalmers has his famous (our, should i say infamous?) zombie-argument: he conceives the existence of zombies (physically the same as us, in make up and actions) in a possible world to be conceivable. These zombies would have, as said, the same physical properties, but not the qualia that we - normal non-zombie folks - experience. Since the possible pysical world would be the same, in Chalmers' situation there'd be no causal relevance of our qualia to the pysical world - i myself find this highly troubling, but lets leave that for now. I want to take up the idea of a kind of zombie, i call it a swambie, in this world n now.

I might have got this idea from somewhere in Chalmers' book (1995), i do believe in cryptomnesia, but I don't think my idea is quite the same as his.So here it is:

imagine a swamp - i do love those places. Now in our swamp there is a pool, a lifeless pool (i.e. no organisms whatsoever). Nevertheless there is slow but certain movement (simply by the temperatures), which, over an endless time, forces all present elements to be in all possible combinations. Now, do realize there is some energy in there, electricity, and also imagine those ''elements'' to be the things that make up a human body.

Now here comes the fun:
on a certain moment, per definition, there has to be a composition, by chance, of elements which equals the composition of your brain (or mine, i don't mind (pun :P)) or even better, your body.
Now here's even more fun:
i guess some materialists might have to be forced by now, by this highly improbable situation, though completely conceivable, to say there emerges consciousness in our chance-made body.
I find this higly counterintuitive: it can simply NOT be conscious.

My intuition would not force to a form of strong immaterialism per se, but it does have some interesting consequenses:
a) the meaning of ''body'', ''brain'' and ''mind'' seem to involve their history (help! does this sound like something teleological, though in backward direction?), their context, the meaning of states (in social situations?). A lot of interesting directions here.
b) from a: tangible ''matter''* alone cannot be held responsible for our conscious states.

*it is of course a problematic point i am yet to get clear about: what to mean by matter and what not?

so my swambies. I don't know whether it adds anything to the discussions in the philosophy of mind; i do like to think about them.

peace,
fedde


Chalmers, David. 1995. The conscious mind: in search of a fundamental theory.

the question

me, respons to Anke's happines: ''smiles are gold''

Anke: ''@Fedde, YES!''

''Yes!'' has a powerful and affirmative question, affirmative. And i guess, i feel, that in this context, and a lot of other contexts, goes beyond affirming the simple affirming of my statement. I suppose it goes on in a sense to affirm life, or at least a large conceptual web of associations around my statement (whatever it may consist of).

So the question of the day:
to affirm or not to affirm - in a wide and strong sense.

Should we accept life? Affirm suffering? Should we say ''yes'' to joy? To ENjoy it? To be in the joy; to lose thyself. Or should we neglect it?

The Middle Way? Simply being Content as happiness - having enough and being dumb.



remember: truth hurts
know: certainty is too far away
be: playful
make it be: truthful and joyful

peacefully,
fedde
(thinking aphoristically, abstract yet very concrete, cannot follow myself :D)

dreams

pfff

dreams are weird stuff. They are real, yet unreal; their strangeness can be clear, yet not clear enough to reveal the identity of the dream as a dream.

Knowledge breaks apart the world in pieces; fragmenst our perception; denies the deepness and veracity of connections.

Stupidity is to trust knowledge - wisdom to see the relativity of knowledge and then the active skill to bypass the fragmentation, or: to heal the wound, or: to not even have the wound.
Something like that i suppose.

''Reality'' is really a construct. It is sooo relative, sometimes this hurts - the relativity. But it heals the joy.

So in a dream i had last night (better: this morning) i married a girl (whom i don't even like in real life) - why on earth. Some things (even tactile) i recall as so vivid. So strange this is... might Freud be right?
or perhaps Jung?
recalling the dream i had of getting a girlfriend - now i got married; perhaps there is some teleology in this (i.e. perhaps this is goal-oriented): this would imply i'm going through this experiences in dreams to leave them behind in real life.
This last one is a) the most convenient explanation (i.e. i'd prefer it) and b) as proveable as Freuds'. Point b is debatable - i guess with the preference of possible evidence going towards both options.

dreaming on
fedde

peace

on somethings

can there even be existence outside of time?

i.e.:
-what does it mean to exist?
-are there different sorts?
-wat is it's relation to time?

good news

at least for those of us who prefer not having the illusion of free will but just having it - i.e. free will:
http://paranormalandlifeafterdeath.blogspot.com/2010/02/free-will-is-not-illusion-after-all.html
an article is discusses in which Libet's famous experiment is called into question - quite straightforward actually!

Now this shows light on another problem:
WHY on earth have there been people constantly referring to ''Libet's experiment''?! Did nobody else try to (conceptually) replicate it? haha lol, and parapsychologists still worry about replicability.

But even better news:
“Passing from here through hundreds of thousands of millions of Buddhalands to the West, there is a world called Ultimate Bliss. In this land a Buddha called Amitabha right now teaches the Dharma...'' read on: http://cttbusa.org/amitabha/amitabha.htm
faith is a precious jewel, a source of virtue

thinking

thinking, thinking, thinking and thinking, and thinking it all over again. Nothing new in the end. Exciting and boring... blah. - most activities, when analyzed properly, are thoroughly boring anyway. For me, the activities that escape that, are ''religious'' (whatever that may mean!) activities: (deep) meditation is extremely valuable.

something else: some ''rules'' for intellectual debate i came up with (still thinking them over):
-never change your position during a debate.
-feel free to ''irrationally'' stick to your position - there might be an argument for or against, or against the against, or pro the pro etc etc, now or in the future. I.e. rational grounds for believe might not really exist. (haha! -i'm amazing myself; but note: this does NOT make me a relativist about truth; just about rational justification).
-every position is extreme - never accuse another or yourself of being extreme. (This, i guess, is more a point for dutch folks to take.)

'nother point:
There is a problem in any conversation: people do not share languages; not nowadays anyway. Or in other words: we take part - using the same English, or Dutch, or Chinese - in a lot of ''different worlds''. This means that i can give a probable explanation of my behavior sometimes in terms of past lives and karma, but will be obstructed in doing so in some contexts.

last point:
we really know nothing. Science has NO idea about a lot. Those who think science presents a complete and near-perfect worldview are highly infatuated with hubris. (whoo... strooong statement!)


regards,
fedde
(ps, though i'm really excited by the above thoughts, they continue to deeply bore me)

states of mind

Somehow, ''we'' (westerners (as if easterners are different)) in our education (oh yes we do) have a focus on the rational way(s?) of knowing. So called ''altered states of consciousness'' (ASC) (term coined by Charles Tart, i admit not yet having read his work on them) are (usually) neglected.

I find it helpful to ask myself whether i myself neglect them; why rationality is so highly (over?)rated; etc.

Some more questions i would like to think about more in my life (i.e. if i ever become knowledgeable in several fields and still have time i might write something about this):

-Can ASCs provide more valid ways of knowing? In what contexts? On what ways? What then is knowledge?

-Why are ASCs calles ALTERED? This supposes that somehow our basic state of mind is cold and rational... i think it is not. At least not if we are not firmly indoctrinated and imprinted to value the rational state extremely high.

by the way; i'm pretty sure that rationality as a way of knowing the world is limited per se.

things and events

times go by, yeah!

ok, so i uploaded a lot of pictures to my facebook (198); the first half of my china series... the rest will come later


hope everyone is happy and... here is the tip of the day:
matches can be used a couple of times; i keep it at two uses per match; but Naess reports that his wife could use 1 x 4. This saves trees, saves the planet. Less harm , more beauty!

peace,
fedde

diets - good news

Has great news! (at least for me...) The American Dietetic Association has a new position on vegetarian-/veganism: positive! Not only are plant-based diets adequate, they even have advantages. This is the case for all people, up to and including pregnant women and athletes. See here; http://www.eatright.org/About/Conte...nt.aspx?id=8357 (and also be sure to check out this site: http://www.pcrm.org/health/veginfo/index.html). Peace :) (ps: unfortunately the ADA's position stands in contrast to its Dutch counterpart, which is more conservative (chanting: ''milk, milk, milk''))

busy with being busy

I've got quite some things to do - but i'm not doing them. Being less productive than i wish i'd be is usually the case for me, but when i'm at my parents' place, i'm less productive than i could be. And, just before 3 exams, 2 papers, one meeting of the reading group in Buddhology, 4 x 2 hrs of work (each week! i've got a job!), i really ought to be really really doing something. But, i just can't get my head straight when i'm here... perhaps i should just accept it and wait with being busy until i'm home again, on my own again. And now enjoy the snow, ice, books, and family! :D

sounds like a gooood plan :)

great!

a pro-vegan broadcast by the dutch consumer program Radar:
http://www.trosradar.nl/index.php?id=uitzending&itemUid=659

debunking the dutch pro-milk sentiment

:)

may all beings, cows included, be extremely happy!
fedde

a four day vow

sometimes absence is needed to note presence...

Studying Buddhadharma yesterday and today, I made a vow this morning not to listen to music. Using my computer to do some things, i automatically think ''oh i can turn on some ...'' - usually i would follow the thought. Now, I'm going to have the thought follow me for a few days. :)

Amituofo!

the world is interesting,

peace,
fedde

who doesn't get happy seeing those who uphold the precepts?

What i've seen was great, - i will definetely take the time one of these weeks, to see the entire documentary.

Amituofo! :)

peace,
fedde

just need to write

some random thoughts:

it is a most healthy thing to be outside; just take a walk every now and then. :) Look around, hear the sounds (mostly highway/freeway (whatever) for me :P). Enjoy. Thát is environmental activism!

another thought:
plurality!

another thought:
classical music! :)

another thought:
i think part of the entire problem in the world is a lack of spirituality - people are forgetting to think about some matters, don't search or find a home. This is really the cause of the environmental problem. Which for me is not global warming (though it is, if it is antropogenic, certainly bad, in my view), but is really what we see so clearly in de Randstad where i'm living: no nature at all! Just human intervention wherever you go... its sad you know.

ok,
perhaps i need to think some more and some less, the world needs both.

http://www.youtube.com/user/wolfgango1991#p/c/9F1E498167E3D674 - for thy mozart


may there be peace,
fedde

or perhaps... :)

or perhaps i'm not going crazy at all (though the world will - mind you). Sometimes one goes through hard times without noticing it really. Luckily sometimes my spiritual teachers and friends are always there. (I oftentimes think of the fact that the Triple Jewel saved my life in a sense.) They can sometimes help on ways they might not even have intended or imagined.

just in the hope people take some time and listen to some wonderful Dharma songs:
http://dharmasound.net/?type=photo&paths=Photos/Z0908BFR/Dharma-Songs-Video&mode=folder

So, i'll make new mistakes... and make new vows. I'll constantly fail, and will constantly be desparetely going back in respect. But one vow will stay strong above all: i'm NOT going to stop coming back to goodness... i'll never stop trying, i promise.

in gratefulness to my dharma friends and dharma teachers, to the Triple Jewel,
their disciple and friend,
fedde

one of these days

the world is going crazy - i'm pretty proud to be one of the first...

but besides that, i'm probably useless... worthless
Where is my vigor? Especially why its needed? And why on earth is it December - if there is one month which is especially deceivable it is December. Very emotional; dark; addictive... I prefer Januari and Februari - they're light... December is too dark. December conceals, ''cozies'' it up with Sinterklaas, Christmas and New Year.

I think i'm going to write a post for the DRBY blog one of these weeks. On speech... being alone a lot one sees that: people speaking... and one notices the subjects (gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip).

Nevermind reader - this is just a mood (December!). It will pass; one of these days:

hmm...

useless days, spending hours and hours, asking what i did. Last week i excelled in vigor and efficiency... things end, unfortunately.

And people have too much opinions, especially myself. I can't stand it! I just want to solve the riddle and be free of ignorance - somehow i (WRONLY) suspect i might find out how the world works by learning at university... stupid, stupid, stupid fedde... now, i should go back to: working, learning, reading, sleeping...

by the way, got into listening to Syd Barret's work again... somehow feels like one of my homes. There is a difference between what he wrote when he had already left pink floyd (see a previous post) and his last episodes with the floyd: the next song is neither of both: a song of the earliest stage: (why are there so much songs by Pink Floyd i never heard before? I had the impressions, probably correct, i had all (relevant) the cd's that were ever officially released)

a single thought

really, the mind changes the world. Even though i'm getting increasingly convinced the literal sense is quite true and scientifically established (though not accepted by established science - that is a different thing), i now mean the psychological sense: the ''world'' after all is just a personal construct. (though personal is not to be believed in to strictly: i.e. personal is socially, culturally, politically, religously, economically etc etc, but still: personal!)

So if you put new expectations and new motivations into that construct it really changes that construct. Note that this is really a tautology: B = A; change A and you thereby change B... DUH! Nevertheless, making it explicit helps. Things and events really have a place in our lives and the question is how we relate to them, not how they relate to us...

ok, that was the theory; now i should go on trying to put it into practice

think wholesomely (even though that might not be a proper english word, is it? - it sounds cool and serves a purpose (which is what language is all about),
fedde