the world is going crazy - i'm pretty proud to be one of the first...
but besides that, i'm probably useless... worthless
Where is my vigor? Especially why its needed? And why on earth is it December - if there is one month which is especially deceivable it is December. Very emotional; dark; addictive... I prefer Januari and Februari - they're light... December is too dark. December conceals, ''cozies'' it up with Sinterklaas, Christmas and New Year.
I think i'm going to write a post for the DRBY blog one of these weeks. On speech... being alone a lot one sees that: people speaking... and one notices the subjects (gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip).
Nevermind reader - this is just a mood (December!). It will pass; one of these days:
zondag 6 december 2009
dinsdag 1 december 2009
hmm...
useless days, spending hours and hours, asking what i did. Last week i excelled in vigor and efficiency... things end, unfortunately.
And people have too much opinions, especially myself. I can't stand it! I just want to solve the riddle and be free of ignorance - somehow i (WRONLY) suspect i might find out how the world works by learning at university... stupid, stupid, stupid fedde... now, i should go back to: working, learning, reading, sleeping...
by the way, got into listening to Syd Barret's work again... somehow feels like one of my homes. There is a difference between what he wrote when he had already left pink floyd (see a previous post) and his last episodes with the floyd: the next song is neither of both: a song of the earliest stage: (why are there so much songs by Pink Floyd i never heard before? I had the impressions, probably correct, i had all (relevant) the cd's that were ever officially released)
And people have too much opinions, especially myself. I can't stand it! I just want to solve the riddle and be free of ignorance - somehow i (WRONLY) suspect i might find out how the world works by learning at university... stupid, stupid, stupid fedde... now, i should go back to: working, learning, reading, sleeping...
by the way, got into listening to Syd Barret's work again... somehow feels like one of my homes. There is a difference between what he wrote when he had already left pink floyd (see a previous post) and his last episodes with the floyd: the next song is neither of both: a song of the earliest stage: (why are there so much songs by Pink Floyd i never heard before? I had the impressions, probably correct, i had all (relevant) the cd's that were ever officially released)
zondag 29 november 2009
a single thought
really, the mind changes the world. Even though i'm getting increasingly convinced the literal sense is quite true and scientifically established (though not accepted by established science - that is a different thing), i now mean the psychological sense: the ''world'' after all is just a personal construct. (though personal is not to be believed in to strictly: i.e. personal is socially, culturally, politically, religously, economically etc etc, but still: personal!)
So if you put new expectations and new motivations into that construct it really changes that construct. Note that this is really a tautology: B = A; change A and you thereby change B... DUH! Nevertheless, making it explicit helps. Things and events really have a place in our lives and the question is how we relate to them, not how they relate to us...
ok, that was the theory; now i should go on trying to put it into practice
think wholesomely (even though that might not be a proper english word, is it? - it sounds cool and serves a purpose (which is what language is all about),
fedde
So if you put new expectations and new motivations into that construct it really changes that construct. Note that this is really a tautology: B = A; change A and you thereby change B... DUH! Nevertheless, making it explicit helps. Things and events really have a place in our lives and the question is how we relate to them, not how they relate to us...
ok, that was the theory; now i should go on trying to put it into practice
think wholesomely (even though that might not be a proper english word, is it? - it sounds cool and serves a purpose (which is what language is all about),
fedde
zaterdag 28 november 2009
obvious
it is obvious: homesick (though in leeuwarden now)... actually visited CTTB in a dream tonight. As i said to a friend*: going back to CTTB has become an existential need.
it is obvious: searching throught dusty and less dusty books for info on zoroastrian rituals, their meaning and function is, to use exactly the right word, EXCITING. For my first large paper (8 pages)...
I'm also working on another one, exciting too, perhaps even more exciting, for Buddhist Philosophy, on Buddhism and Deep Ecology. Fun times
it is obvious: that i'm stupid - the entire reason for going back to leeuwarden was to go Isis her birthday - i forgot my gift... argh such is life, my life at least.
it is obvious: Pluralism! - perfect norm for all sciences; conflicting views are ok as long as the people are not conflicting.
it is obvious: that one of the things that current sciences sometimes seem to forget is the very pupose of science: helping! To make us more whole(somely) living persons in a world, and increase our sense of wonder about the world. Just some feelings on academia.
oh and: social sciences are no sciences! :P that would be a nice thesis to defend.
see you again!
*that is a problem: when do you call someone a friend anyway?
it is obvious: searching throught dusty and less dusty books for info on zoroastrian rituals, their meaning and function is, to use exactly the right word, EXCITING. For my first large paper (8 pages)...
I'm also working on another one, exciting too, perhaps even more exciting, for Buddhist Philosophy, on Buddhism and Deep Ecology. Fun times
it is obvious: that i'm stupid - the entire reason for going back to leeuwarden was to go Isis her birthday - i forgot my gift... argh such is life, my life at least.
it is obvious: Pluralism! - perfect norm for all sciences; conflicting views are ok as long as the people are not conflicting.
it is obvious: that one of the things that current sciences sometimes seem to forget is the very pupose of science: helping! To make us more whole(somely) living persons in a world, and increase our sense of wonder about the world. Just some feelings on academia.
oh and: social sciences are no sciences! :P that would be a nice thesis to defend.
see you again!
*that is a problem: when do you call someone a friend anyway?
zondag 15 november 2009
girls and days
since i met matangi's daughter - some weeks ago; i kinda failed the test (so had to ''start anew'' to quote the Venerable Master)
so i found this article which made me feel a bit better (things (or people) can haunt you, or at least me)
http://en.nothingisreal.com/wiki/Why_I_Will_Never_Have_a_Girlfriend
lol
worth reading (or skimming as i did) though
so:
currently awaiting some exciting books i ordered, among which ''the end of materialism'' by Tart
Reading J.B. Tuckers excellent summary of reincarnation research ''life before life''
and recovering from my typical ''sad state'' which i've been having every now and then
and: still have to read some stuff before i'll say i've had a productive day (which is a must for me)
and: promised to cook for all three of us; will start around 5:00 pm (?)
conclusion: stop blogging and internetting, start living~! :D
hope to see and hear from all my friends from near and far soon!
peace,
fedde
so i found this article which made me feel a bit better (things (or people) can haunt you, or at least me)
http://en.nothingisreal.com/wiki/Why_I_Will_Never_Have_a_Girlfriend
lol
worth reading (or skimming as i did) though
so:
currently awaiting some exciting books i ordered, among which ''the end of materialism'' by Tart
Reading J.B. Tuckers excellent summary of reincarnation research ''life before life''
and recovering from my typical ''sad state'' which i've been having every now and then
and: still have to read some stuff before i'll say i've had a productive day (which is a must for me)
and: promised to cook for all three of us; will start around 5:00 pm (?)
conclusion: stop blogging and internetting, start living~! :D
hope to see and hear from all my friends from near and far soon!
peace,
fedde
maandag 9 november 2009
going to go crazy
going to 5 extra lectures this week; total will be 13 lectures this week (i.e. all classes + lectures)...
i will probably survive... :P
it is all my own choice anyway. :)
MY CHOICE - and perhaps people might remember that: what i do is MY CHOICE! thank you :)
peace,
fedde
i will probably survive... :P
it is all my own choice anyway. :)
MY CHOICE - and perhaps people might remember that: what i do is MY CHOICE! thank you :)
peace,
fedde
woensdag 4 november 2009
the world ''believer'' (again...) - a frustration
in a conversation with someone who is working with Blackmore (the former parapsychologists who is now a skeptic) said - when i mentioned my interest in parapsychology (though not my stance (i.e. that the evidence pro is stronger that the arguments against) - that ''she is interesting, since she used to be a believer...''
ok, nothing against the person i was talking with: he has far more education (though that might also be the problem) than i have; he might not disagree with the point i'm about to make; he is a nice guy.
what i stated (not literally, here i use more arguments and am more to the point) right away (after letting him finish his sentence of course):
there is a problem in the word ''believer'': it is not an objective term. The word believer makes it seem the ''believer'' accepts the phenomenon without proper proof; yet people like Dean Radin and Gertrude Schmeidler (just to name two) did not start out believing, they had to be convinced by experiments (read: proof).
the point is: the word ''believer'' is dishonest and rude: don't use it.
Thinking along this line:
it might be that Anselmus and Descartes did not believe in God: they had - in their own views - proven him to exist (even though i won't agree with their proofs). The point is: to evaluate whether someone is a ''believer'' or not, one has to know the motivations of the individual (almost from a 1st person perspective (?)) and NOT THE CONTENTS OF THE STATEMENT (in which ''he beliefs'').
oh btw: this :: http://www.parapsych.org/sheep_goat_effect.htm :: is incredibly interesting! :D
stupid me - taking sides - judging - using CAPSLOCK - - thereby forgetting advice from both Prof. Hayes and dr. Sneller...
though - whatever the truth of psychic phenomena - the above considerations are valid (so i'm convinced (i almost said: ''so i believe'' - which is not strong enough))...
peace,
fedde
ok, nothing against the person i was talking with: he has far more education (though that might also be the problem) than i have; he might not disagree with the point i'm about to make; he is a nice guy.
what i stated (not literally, here i use more arguments and am more to the point) right away (after letting him finish his sentence of course):
there is a problem in the word ''believer'': it is not an objective term. The word believer makes it seem the ''believer'' accepts the phenomenon without proper proof; yet people like Dean Radin and Gertrude Schmeidler (just to name two) did not start out believing, they had to be convinced by experiments (read: proof).
the point is: the word ''believer'' is dishonest and rude: don't use it.
Thinking along this line:
it might be that Anselmus and Descartes did not believe in God: they had - in their own views - proven him to exist (even though i won't agree with their proofs). The point is: to evaluate whether someone is a ''believer'' or not, one has to know the motivations of the individual (almost from a 1st person perspective (?)) and NOT THE CONTENTS OF THE STATEMENT (in which ''he beliefs'').
oh btw: this :: http://www.parapsych.org/sheep_goat_effect.htm :: is incredibly interesting! :D
stupid me - taking sides - judging - using CAPSLOCK - - thereby forgetting advice from both Prof. Hayes and dr. Sneller...
though - whatever the truth of psychic phenomena - the above considerations are valid (so i'm convinced (i almost said: ''so i believe'' - which is not strong enough))...
peace,
fedde
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