my room, the coming time

so yesterday i went to oegstgeest (next to leiden; my room is there) to pick up my keys and then to wait for my father who'd come with my bed and stuff.

Sooo, it was cool to finally have the feeling of owning a room, a place to live. I met two out of three roommates (we share kitchen, bathroom, toilet, and living room). Nice people. Quite international too! Together with one of the two girls i'm one of the two dutchies. The other one i met is a girl from Curacao (or how do you spell that?); the other boy, whom i didn't meet, is from China, studying in the Netherlands for a year... how cool :D

now, the coming time, i.e. CTTB...
i have been hoping, wishing, praying to go there for some years, really. Have been superglad i'm going there.
But as it gets closer, i get afraid a bit :(
fears include (and i think there aren't more):
A). whether i'll fit into the community: my life long fear, and some negative experiences, of new people (like i was afraid of my roommates too, before i met them, now i've seen them i know they're very kind people).
B). Whether i'll survive the schedule. :P
B'). Whether i'll be strong (emotionally) enough. With respect to the schedule and the amount of meditation and missing my parents and siblings and friends (though the last ones haven't really been seen by me in the past time)

talking them from my mind:
A). probably yes: the people at Rabten Choeling, the monastery i stayed in for a midweek last summer, were simply great personalities, great stories. And i don't think people at cttb will lack those. And if there's one thing i should have learned from china is that my intuition that people a priori don't like me and i have to remove their dislike is really a totally mixed up belief with no proper basis.
+ a bit of solitude can be good - i, of all people, should know that

B). well, i'm not the only one there and i never read something about people dying from at cttb from the schedule. And in fact, i have had quite disciplined days the last years (though not that early! and busy... :P)
B'). Well, i've been through stuff, some stuff, but i'm not really strong i guess - i'll learn to be. perfect.

In the mean time, i've got one week left in holland, activities include:
-today: working at the museum;
-sunday: working at the museum (last day ever, will have a goodbey later)
-monday: no plans yet, though i should get a plan cause if i don't i'll waist my day doing nothing (i.e. surfing on the net and reading too much)
-tuesday: idem to monday
-wednesday: to oegstgeest again, to get more stuff there, an entire day this time.
-thursday: packing for cttb
-friday: flying - will be a hard day, missing quite some hours
-saturday: either friday or saturday will be my arrival in CTTB - yet to figure out.

peace,
fedde

thinking and photos

for those who have been reading this blog like a thriller - wondering if, and if so, when i would find a room... :
YES I DID
tomorrow i'm going down to leiden (actually oegstgeest) to pick up my keys and then will wait for my dad, who will come by car with my bed and stuff to get the bed etc into my room.

The artist, Ellen Floris, who made the photo at the top of the page, asked me to make her name clearer; of course, this i do with pleasure, and in fact encourage you all to go to her (and her husband's) website:
http://www.elbowworks.nl/
and check out the great pics she took...

ok, i seriously wished i had more time (is there any moment in the past few years i didn't wish so?)...
life's going so fast. I'm only living at home for one week; then 4 weeks cttb and then university. exciting it is, frightening two. I'll have to really stand on my own two feet.
Well coocking is no problem anymore: vegetables + rice = healty and good tasting! :D And can be varied enough to have a healthy life...

anyway,

sleep well,
fedde

buddhist videos

nice video's, well done, well informed! :D

nothing whatsoever

oh, how i miss the chinese kitchen! I actually tried hard to make noodle soup with my dad - was close, but not it yet: even the noodle soup i ate at the airport would beat it - which was not much more than noodles, water and lettuce. :P

After this post i'm going to throw some bamboo, lettuce, things like that into a cooking pot (=what my online dictionary gives me; there must be a better word), make some rice and see what it tastes like. Coocking is one of the things i should get to feel at home with these weeks.

Reading is what i do a lot these days, that is, when i'm not online searching for a room in leiden (anyone?) or involved in other business like stufi, official stuff, tiring stuff. Actually thursday i'm going to take a look at a room which has been empty for a while already - and i'm currently the only candidate; though i don't know whether that's really that positive, perhaps all the others decided the room was too messy or whatever. Anyway it's location and price are quite good actually so'd would be nice if it were a nice room. Meanwhile i still hope someone will offer me a room: ''via-via'' -dutchism?) is said to be the best way.

well ah yeah, nothing whatsoever,

peace,
fedde from a rainy day

CHINA 1

okay - here we go

parts from my e-mail are italic

saturday:

ok, arriving i had my first laugh. Some health inspectors came into our airplane to check our temperature. They were all dressed in white suits wearing special glasses etc - so extremely overdone haha! XD

Then met my aunt (poor her, she had been waiting for like an hour at least, with Lisa (eldest daughter) and drove home.

As my aunt pointed out, arriving in Shanghai is more like arriving in New York: good looking highways etc etc. The only thing showing you're in china is: a) chinese characters, b) the traffic rules - or actually: the lack of them.

Sunday:

Yesterday i went to Longhua Si (dragon flower Temple) was really a nice temple. There were quite a few monks walking around, lots of laypeople, and also, to my delight, sincere lay people - they formed assemblies and recited (Na Mo A Mi Tuo Fo; Na Mo Gwan Shr Yin Pu Sa; etc, and then a Sutra i suppose). I asked on monk whether he knew Venerable Master Hsuan Hua, showing a picture; and yes he did, he had heard lots of people talk about the Venerable Master. Only afterwards did i realize i should also have asked whether he knew Dharma Master Heng Sure - since i once heard DM Sure talk about his experience in Longhua Si taking part in an ordination ceremony.

photos: Longhua Si (Dragon Flower Temple)
the one where you see some people as the subject you should take another look: they're holding recitation books (they are the ones i'm talking about in the above)















will be continued... :) (four photos of 404?!; probably going to take a long long long time)

regards,
fedde

home and houses

so i came home from my wonderful, incredible, super trip to and in china...

I only sent two or three e-mails with stories as some of you know and have read. I'm thinking about a way to get my experiences + photos online.

being home again is good again too. It is nice to be able to make fun with my little brother, talk with my sister and parents, see friends again.

Yesterday was graduation ceremony... that was a special occasion. I was actually suprised by my own results too - which, read aloud, called for an applauding audience. :P (7 nines; 5 eights; 4 sevens)
I will never forget some of the kind remarks from several teachers.

BUT NOW; back in holland, some things need to be arranged before i go to CTTB. For example a room to live in in leiden :( ...

ok,
i hope everyone is healthy and even more happy,
fedde